this is not freedom.

i've finished my last paper and submitted my AE last Tuesday.

but why didn't i feel elated or super happy? i am grateful and thankful, Alhamdulillah.

but i don't know.

is this how freedom tastes like?

so far, it doesn't taste THAT sweet.


hmm.

BUSY is a err an adjective?

oh busy gila gila gila.


i'll write after 24th lah kot.

(macam lah ada readers)

haha.

one of the best

i was listening to Caliban while doing my assignments when this surge of good memories run through my head like crazy.

i have never thought that i would watch them live.ever.not until that day.2nd August 2008.

you know how MCPA hall was never in good ventilation condition but what the hell.what the hell, i was already there and nothing else matters.

for them to perform in a poorly ventilated, hot and wet 'hall', i almost got all sentimental.they are who they are, not some noob from some district (not that i'm berating newcomers or noobies).

and they're Germans.being a Deutsch studentin,i vowed to myself that i must, must at least speak a phrase of Deutsch to any one of them.

its orgasmic, when they finally performed. i think i could die.but i didn't.i survived sore throats. (at this point, Our Burden to Bleed is blasting from the speaker and i'm shivering.haha)

when it all ended, i make way to the drummer as he was standing there and as i was shaking, this came out of my mouth

'helo (hand shake).ich kann Deutsche spreche bitte langsam.ich studiert Deustch in universitat.'

patutlah dia tak faham.sebab salah ayat ayat tu.i was a trainwreck, untung lah aku bolehg bercakap.i forgot all three semesters of lessons i've learned.enschuldigung sie Frau und Herr!
he had this confused look on his face but he continued smiling and i offered 'ein Foto?' and he understood.

and there's Andy Donner.the face that i drooled over in Revolver.and there he was in front of me.my knees were all jelly.and i scooted next to him, trembling (i actually did) and shook or more like held his hands and said I LOVE YOU, like a lover hungered for her long lost man.i think i scared him but we snapped a picture anyway. i wasn't in the scene, wasn't in a band, was not friends with the organizer, i was just a fan.and a girl.




this was one of the best day of my life.it still is.

guerilla lah sangat.

okay i should be in my room, writing pages after pages of chapter 5 or pages after pages of essay or pages after pages of reflective journal.

but no, here i am in my living room.in front of the television.

i told my darling, as he went off to the mall.

'balik ni nak makan nasik and buat keje ala guerilla'.

guess what.

guerilla tengok reruns ANTM 8 dulu.

p/s : ive rewatched the reruns for like 5 times already.this is self destructive behavior ladies and gentlemen.i shall drink my redbull and head off to work.
'