Tuesday, March 31, 2009

of shopaholic and life events.

i went to watch shopaholic earlier this evening.
it was fun and i realized that i was never a shopaholic.

shopping rarely makes me happy.maybe because i'm always broke.but as a girl i should love shopping.kot? but i don't make it a priority.i can live without new clothes or shoes every month. i think i can.yey.

i have tons and tons and tons of assignments to finish.its a race against time.

i want to win.

three little birds

bak kata bob marley

Dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.

i would love to declare that when i am sad, i tend to listen to sad songs just to get the mood running you know.that's not a wise thing to do.

when you're sad, you don't have to listen to Dylan's The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll. you will be lead to believe that you are Hattie Carroll and whoever's hurting you is William Zanzinger.it's unfair.

and listening to Marketa Irglova's song won't help either. especially at the part 'when the distance causes only silence'.or the part 'to be the better one to satisfy you,for you're everything to me'.

and don't listen to Landing In London.cause.just because.it makes you sad and confused.

i have mentioned earlier that i am a sucker for sad songs.happiness is a feeling.sadness is a feeling.i embraced both.

this is off topic but i'll quote it here;

"All the same," said the Scarecrow, "I shall ask for brains instead of a heart; for a fool would not know what to do with a heart if he had one."

"I shall take the heart," returned the Tin Woodman; "for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world."

- The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Monday, March 30, 2009

of love and pain.

life is not always a bed of roses yeah.sometimes it's just a pile of shit, one after another.piles after piles.

but shit can be wash away.it can.

it's fair enough.sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're not.you can't be happy ALL the times. what is life then if you've never experience pain?

a little pain is good sometimes.i have always believe in the saying 'which don't kill you will only make you stronger'.i do.

here is another of my favorite from Jim Morisson.

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

love and pain and hope and anger and numbness.
i want to feel it all.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

soulmates never die

one of my favorite love songs yaw

Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide.
I'll take it by your side.
Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide.
I'll take it by your side.
Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies.
I'll take it by your side.
Oversaturation curls the skin and tans the hide.
I'll take it by your side.

tick - tock [x3]
tick - tick - tick - tick - tick - tock

I'm unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen,
I seem to lose the power of speech,
Your slipping slowly from my reach.
You grow me like an evergreen,
You never see the lonely me at all

Take the plan, spin it sideways.
Without you, I'm Nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
Without you, I'm nothing at all.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

the laughter, butchered

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

verse 2

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword

verse 4

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy (girl) who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die

originally by Pablo Neruda.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

benda benda disukai

1. aku suka senyum pada kucing.macam senyum pada manusia dimana aku hanya or selalu senyum pada manusia perempuan, tapi aku senyum juga walau pada kucing jantan.it's a good thing they never smiled at me back.ye lah kalau tidak mesti mak aku dah hantar dekat tanjung rambutan sebab mengaku ada kucing jantan balas senyuman ku.ee comelnya.

2. aku suka membaca.kotak cereal pun kalau boleh nak baca.lagi lagi suratkhabar balut nasi lemak or balut sayur beli kat pasar tani.time nak makan or nak siang sayur tu lah baru nak baca.selalunya berita atas suratkhabar macam tu yang paling interesting.

3. aku suka bila budak budak suruh aku buat sesuatu.tolong lukiskan gambar princess bergaun lawa,tolong ikatkan riben, buat aku rasa macam fairy.ha ha.

4. aku suka cuaca panas di siang hari.walau kadang termerungut.tapi aku prefer hari panas dari hari hujan.sebab kalau hujan lagi lagi kelas pagi,mesti aku tak mahu pergi kelas.tapi kalau boleh malam tu biar hujan walau kadang aku sakit sakit sendi.oh manusia, tamak dan tak bersyukur.

5. aku suka bila boyfriend jadi super sweet.sebab lepas tu mesti tak kisah sangat kalau kucing tak senyum kat aku ke,suratkhabar nasi lemak kena sambal ke,budak komplen rupa princess macam maimon talib ke (ampun) or eh yang last tu aku tak boleh tipu.

sweet mana boyfriend pun aku tak suka pergi kelas hujan hujan.

Monday, March 23, 2009

benda benda dibenci

1. aku benci bila aku tak cukup tidur lepas tu terjaga pada pukul 11 pagi sebab ada construction more specifically bunyi orang menukang.aku marah.tapi aku lagi marah sebab aku tahu aku tak patut dan tak boleh marah.pukul 11 pagi bukan waktu tidur.tapi aku berhak marah sebab aku tidur pukul 6.30 pagi.siapa suruh.

2. aku benci bila aku tak rajin nak buat kerja, tapi tengok Criminal Minds 6 episod one go boleh pulak.kenapa syaitan dalam diri bukan syaitan workaholic.

3. aku benci tengok orang beli pen 2 batang lepas tu mintak plastik.

4. aku benci orang tak pam tandas awam bila pam tu sebenarnya berfungsi.

5. aku benci untuk membenci.jadi aku patut rasa terhibur kerana pertukangan yang disebut tadi telah berlanjutan dari pukul 11 pagi ke 4 petang ni.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

kungfu meriam bunuh kilat syaitan

i was at my maksu house last friday.i love visiting her because there will always be goodies.haha.
be it perfume, cosmetics, money, chocolates.i think she loved me.i got two kain batik for baju kurung and a Yeslam perfume.i think i've funded Taliban (Yeslam is a product under Osama bin Laden's brother i guess), but its free anyway.my grandma was there as well, i missed her.

and then i played badminton with my cousin Farhan.

and i lose miserably.he is eleven.

when i asked him 'dah besar nak jadi apa'.he said 'nak jadi macam Lee Chong Wei'.

patutlah aku kalah.hm.

i surrendered gracefully and manja manja with my grandma and i picked up a Dragon Ball comic.
terasa rindu yang sangat.i think i have tears in my eyes while i was reading the comic.

when i was small, i was an early reader, by the age of 3 or 4.my brother is the polar opposite.so mom got him Dragon Ball comics every month so that he would read faster.but i ended up reading it to him. and looking back at the languages, no wonder why my brother is still a moron.haha.

Pikor is quite young in that episode and he was dubbed Pikor Remaja Syaitan.and there was a part when Cici was looking at Goku and said 'tidak sangka dulu Goku kecil, sekarang sudah besar ibarat sebuah gunung'.that got me laughing.

and when Goku brought Gohan to Cikgu Muten house for the first time and a voice said 'Eh Goku sudah jadi Mak Inang'.

i missed my Dragonball comics.there's not even one left.you can mail all 43 episodes to me.i'll love you forever.

by the way, even Goku died of heart attack. Pahlawan Saiya Planet Bezita yang dulu bernama Kakaroct.apatah lagi kita yang homo sapiens negeri Selangor ni (aku lah).

kena banyak crank dat spiderman/batman/yank ni.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

and pose like dem name Chuck Norris

kau mesti tak cool sebab kau tak pernah dengar lagu ni

life is a roller coaster, no, life is a nagging obese husband

woohoo i'm not being a sexist.don't take everything seriously yeah,i can't please everyone.haha.

technically, we have 3 weeks left.three weeks.drei Wochen.trois semaines.tre settimane.trĂªs semanas.tiga minggu.anyhoos, i'm feeling optimistic.this is all i got to do

1. CIE paperwork
2. CIE portfolio
3. PDs presentation
4. PDs pairwork review ke hapa tah
5. Family Counseling presentation
6. Ethics in Counseling interview/presentation
7. CALL website
8. PD seminar
9. Academic Excercise

how in the world, will i have enough energy and mindpower to complete all those, including a few more tests,for your information.

life is a stingy domineering husband who always say no, but you loved him anyway.
cause if you have no love for life, you're probably dead aren't you.

God helps us all.did i say in the previous entry,it would be the last one i'll mention about Watchmen, well,it's a lie.definitely.


no, it's not confusion

well, there's one post about shit and stuffs, the following post is about doa to cure laziness.

either i'm being a chronic indecisive person or i'm being, well, me.

i am only human, just like you, no better, no less than you.yes you.

God helps us all.okay okay it's from Watchmen, last last.May success be ours.


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

why, it's a question, not an answer

yes.oh how i would love to know all the answers to all the whys in the world.

but why are we lazy? why do we procrastinate? the world would be such a better place to live in if we are not lazy or perhaps if we are kinder, gentler, more compassionate, full of perseverance, not a psychopath oh as a human, we are nothing but flawed.

laziness or sloth is one of the deadly sins (in christianity lah kan), but procrastinating, stealing time, in Islam,holds no different meaning.Kasl or laziness or procrastination is a disease (muslimbychoice.blogspot). the causes are rooted in the heart, so they say.its true indeed. because being lazy doesn't require energy or endless amount in front of textbooks, assignments, ae.it's a learned habit.no one is born lazy.everyone has an equal chance.

so here's a doa to combat laziness.

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from helplessness, sloth, cowardice, niggardliness, and burden of debts and domineering men.
There is no god but Allah, the Glorious and Clement; there is no god but Allah, Lord of the Great Throne; there is no god but Allah, Lord of the heavens and earth and the Noble Throne.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

full of shit

when you turn solidarity into shit
and the shit that comes from your mouth
and seeps from the pores of
your skin
not knowing
when you turn chipper into shit
and your laughter rings nothing
but shit

and you turn guileless into shit
and those shits
you cover in the stench of fragrance
and it will mix with your shit
soon the world
will whiff
as it reeks out of you


Epifah Othman, 2013, March 17

Monday, March 16, 2009

dah besar jangan shuffle depan rumah orang ye, nak

aiman hakim, waktu masih comel dan tak liar

malam semalam, waktu tengah sedap melayan cerita Merlin di tv3, aku terdengar lagu Pitbull yang annoying tu.gaya macam ada rave party but wait a minute, aku dekat rumah ni.dekat rumah flat pkns.ada suara orang orang berborak.makin lama makin annoying.borak kuat kuat je sudah lah, perlu ke buka muzik kuat kuat?

untuk mengelakkan kemusykilan dan sumpah seranah yang berpanjangan, aku pun pergi jenguk ke bawah.sah.ada sekumpulan anak muda remaja sedang bershuffle. "kau tengok kaki aku, macam ni, macam ni" (sambil menari). ewah ewah, ada sesi tutorial pulak.

aku berdoa dengan kuat agar bakal anak anak aku tidak akan terhingin melakukan perkara sedemikian rupa.moga mereka lebih hingin membaca ensiklopedia atau pun bermain Wii,tapi games yang berunsurkan kesihatan.

ada 24 blok flat dekat sini, depan blok aku juga kau mahu bershuffle.haish.

oh by the way, the baby in the picture is Aiman Hakim.he was such a darling then.but now he's so nakal and active.kids grow up so fast.he'll be in school before i realize it.

ibu, bapa dan monyet

di suatu hari yang hening, di Bukit Melawati, Kuala Selangor.dua tahun lalu.

bapa saya seorang yang garang dan kurang suka senyum lebih lebih lagi dengan strangers. kira kalau dia senyum kat kau, ada potensi jadi menantu dia.

jadi dia senyum dengan monyet itu.bukan main mesra lagi.aku jadi risau.

mana tahu dia tak kasi kahwin and suruh bela monyet ke.hm.

edisi kekeluargaan

Syerina (Anje) and Irah

Anje and Ipah

my cousins, in my hometown Kg.Bukit Kuching Tengah, Jeram.i miss them!

nostalgia norma

so my AE supervisor is Dr.Normah.
and this is one of my old time favorite from Norma Jean. Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste yaw. :P

ok ok, tak habis lagi

i love the quotes in Watchmen.kesian si boyfriend dia hari hari sejak dulu dengar my rantings about Watchmen. Watchmen this, Watchmen that.haha.

here are some of my favorites.

Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But Doctor... I am Pagliacci." - Rorschach

“The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.” - Einstein (in one of the comic's episode)

Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster.and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Wilhem Nietzsche

A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned? - Jon Osterman

We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings - Jon

If reading this now, whether I am alive or dead, you will know truth. Whatever precise nature of this conspiracy, Adrian Veidt responsible. Have done best to make this legible. Believe it paints disturbing picture. Appreciate your recent support and hope world survives long enough for this to reach you, but tanks are in East Berlin, and writing is on wall - Rorschach

as far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being - C.G Jung

okay from this point on, no more Watchmen topic. :P

Sunday, March 15, 2009

kurus dan watchmen (spoilers ahead)

oh i went to watch Watchmen earlier this morning.but i wish there were more.i love the comic.here are what i wish would be in the movie.these are just opinions ok.

1. Laurie should have more hate in her.i mean, well she hated Blake, and Rorschach (in the comic).she had this hate thingy going on. it doesnt really show, in the movie.

2. The guy working at the newspaper vendor, he was never mentioned in the movie. except for the explosion part where he and Bernie (his name is Bernie juga) hugged each other.

3. I know it sounds silly but i like the grafitti on the wall, the two lovers and a nuclear tu.well, tak ada pulak in the movie.

4. Rorschach didnt just slay open that pedophile murderer's head in the comic, but he handcuffed ke ikat that guy's hand and give him a mini saw and asked him to freed himself.and then he burned the house down.i prefer that one.

5. the doctor who assessed Rorschach, i think he deserved a highlight jugak tapi kang panjang sangat pulak movie.in the comic, there's a story about him jugak sikit.

6. the death of Hollis Mason.tiada langsung.patut ada.

7. part Jon (Dr.Manhattan) cakap pasal why he liked Blake, i think it's important, you know the part where he said back in the Nam, Blake perfectly understand what's going on etc etc.

8. ohhh.part springing up Rorschach tu. berbalik kepada Laurie, dia kan tak suka and dia cepat nak agree pula.and kurang impact scene waktu dia deal with the inmates who threaten him tu.the fat guy didnt get his hands sawed off actually.the scene should stick to the original i guess. Rorschach didnt left the prison with his mask on, he went to pick it up his gears dulu at the hiding place.oh i dont like this scene lah in the movie.it should have been way greater.

9. back to Laurie, hmm. didnt her mother forced her to be an adventurer?.and how she hated it and all.not enough hate in the movie.redundant point.aha.

10. how Rorschach got his mask.dude, it should be shown in the movie.

11. Veidt's antarctic retreat.i think it should stick to the original.with the CGI and all, it shouldnt be that hard to create the dome.and Bubastis is blue.i wish she was red.and how Veidt became who he is, it should be explore in depth.eceh.

12. pasal Dan.police kan patutnya look after him once they knew he is Nite Owl and still hop around town in Archie. well, tiada juga in the movie.and how the police came to his house and asked things. tiada.

13. Veidt should have shouted 'I did it' and We did it' during the ending.and then Dr.Manhattan finally said 'Nothing ever ends' and Veidt terpinga-pinga.well, tiada juga in the movie.i think its important.

14. the action scenes, most of them, are quite cheesy with the slow motion thingy going on. it worked for '300' but have to say, its not really working for Watchmen.

15. i would prefer to watch Laurie and Dan making out in the end rather than Dan mourning for the death of Rorschach.i like the part where Laurie said to Dan, well mcm ni 'i want you to love me because we're not dead'. dia kan macam terkejut sebab what happen in New York tu.

ada lagi but dah malas pula.the time limit lah agaknya that set the movie the way it is.but i have to say, the ending is quite okay.instead of alien thingy, they blamed dr.manhattan for the explosion.make sense lah kan.oh and the last part, the one dekat newspaper company tu.Seymour should be more 'loser' and the boss should be more 'garang' and oppressive like the original.it should be introduced earlier instead during the very last scene.but it was good nevertheless.

the portrayal of Rorschach is the most profound of all the characters.its quite true to the original.and Laurie's portrayal is the worse, Sally's portrayal is way better.Dr.Manhattan's portrayal is quite weak as well.

anyhow,i love the soundtrack.the early part je sudah kedengaran suara Dylan and i was excited like a child in a toy store. hell yeah.

a very good try anyway.and i enjoyed it, not as much as reading the comic but yes, its still good.kudos to Zack Snyder.there are still lots of elements which are true to the original. *clap clap*

p/s : these are just opinions ok?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

oh marketa irglova

oh, this is one of my favorite songs from the movie Once.haven't watch it yet but i know i'll love it. another favorite is Falling Slowly.here are the lyrics to If You Want Me

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
For it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance causes only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
When you know I really tried
To be a better one to satisfy you for you're everything to me
And I'll do what you ask me
If you let me be free

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

p/s : lagu ini tiada kena mengena dengan keadaan hidup ku sekarang.sekadar suka sebab sedap je.ha ha.

i bruise easily.

what a statement.

but lately, i've been getting cuts and bruises from all sorts of mini accidents due to excitement and uhm, clumsiness.

last night,i hit my left hand on the door frame.it hurts.i think i've fractured it.well i think i'm exaggerating.

i think, this time, my physique acted in accordance with my emotion.

i bruise easily lately.

rasa macam perempuan.heh.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

when the old is getting older.

there is this one particular pakcik i noticed in section 17.

he looks a lot like my late atuk.i saw him in 2004 i guess.and he's still here.but older.i always caught a glimpse of him while i was in the car.

a few days ago i saw him again.with his shirt and kopiah.but he looked wayyyy older.

i hate watching old people grow older.like my grandma.

one day while i was at my hometown and i was about to head back to Kelana Jaya, i kissed my grandma goodbye and i looked at her.her eyes were tired, her smile seemed distant.her graying hair.i suddenly noticed all the wrinkles all the creases.she looked old.and i hated it.

i remember crying and choking while i was telling this to Ain.

in my perfect utopia, people never grow old and die.
people never leave you.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

like a needle needs a vein

oh i just LOVE this song.i want to be like them.he can be Faith Hill.i want to be the cowboy McGraw.

Like a needle needs a vein
Like my uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain
I need you
Like a lighthouse needs a coast
Like the father and the son need the Holy Ghost
I need you, OOH I need you

you know you can see the love in their eyes.oh i want to feel the passion.i'm getting cheesier by the hour.i don't careeee.

marching to the gates of hell

oh it's already March.yipeeee.

oh no.March is the month of madness because i have piles and piles and pilessssss of works to do.

and then come April, final exam.for final semester.have to submit my AE.oh damn, AE.i'll distribute the questionnaire next week.i promise.

and then come May.insyaallah,i'll finish my study by then.and i'll go for a trip somewhere.

and then come June, jobless June and July.

perhaps i'll figure it out by August. i'll get a job and i'll further my study.

come September, it's Aidilfiti, come October, November, December.

perhaps i'll have some money.i'll save some money.

and in 2010, my baby will be here with me.