saturday saturday

oh i feel bad.
i should be at a wedding and at kampung.but earlier this morning my head felt so heavy due to perhaps lack of sleep.i didnt even sleep.so i skipped all offers.and here i am, alone in my house on a lovely Saturday.but i like the solitude.


gah.i think there's a hole in my heart and in my gut.

i dont know what to fill em with.

sigh.

routine hell yeah.

i've developed a routine.it has only been two weeks but so far this is what i do, daily.

1. woke up at XXXX hours. (you seriously don't want to know when, i'm not a morning person, never was).

2. shower and lunch (not simultaneously you duff) or lunch then shower, either way is fine, depends on my smell.'

3. play with the kids, watch whatever cartoon there is on tv sembilan.

4. online or read some stuffs.

5. dinner and mingle with family (hey its an effort)

6. watch online shows, dvds, YMing with my darling.read.YM.eat.

i usually sleep after Subuh.

i'm so going to gain weight (due to the fact that i eat whatever, whenever i want) and this sedentary lifestyle.gah.my only exercise is walking around the house and my house is small.
but i do some running sometimes.when it's dark and suddenly i remember those pontianak stories from Mastika.i ran from the toilet to my bedroom.it took me about 3 seconds only but hell,i was running.

i'll change this routine next week.you just watch me ok?

aspire perspire

its already May. may day may day.

gosh, time goes by swiftly! i just wish it could have been err swifter? i hope it's December. i just want to fast forward everything.skip to the part of job interviews, getting a job, this and that and this huge selfish part of me,i just want my baby back.by baby i mean my boyfriend.

ok lets not get too delusional.he'll be back no matter what insya allah.i just have to carry on like i've always do, so perfectly (almost) before.

i am officially a penganggur.job less.but it's okay, hey it's okay.it's only been 2 weeks.i can STILL see shitloads of my stuffs that i brought back from Shah Alam (despite the constant unpacking and cleaning and stroring stuffs away).

i'm figuring out my life, one step at a time.i already have the outline, its only a matter of pursuing it but no rush.i just want to pause and enjoy life (or the lack of it since i'm cashless and pretty much lack the 'enjoyment' resources).

but life is a journey.maybe my journey is a little bit slower and mundane but on top of it all, i'm healthy as a horse and happier than ever.

grrrr

as in right now, i'm writing this entry from a cyber cafe.

it's almost impossible to NOT hate my life right now.but i've got to stay positive, for that positive vibe you know.

i hate to pay for other people mistakes or failure or stupidity.i really do.

but i've got my first job interview tomorrow.i've got to let the sun shines out my ass.

grr.

hari pertama sebagai penganggur

okay now i am home, i have to come up with lines of answers or reasons or excuses on why am i still not looking for a job or HAVE a job.

oh i'm exagerrating.it's only the 1st of May.lek lu sap kok lu.

to be honest, i don't have it in me yet.you know, the burning desire to have a job and work and earn money.i guess everyone is like that kot.we want money.if only i know how to work magic on the guitar.i'll be on my world tour right now.

i hope it'll come to me soon.

but i'm serious about the guitar thingy,haha.

semi official.

i have finished my study.everything.i've relocated from shah alam to kelana jaya.

to sum it up, i've spent a good damn 5 years in shah alam.living in various, well, only 3 places from section 18 to section 17 to section 18 again.

i spent my late teen and early adulthood years here.i began at 17 years old, leaving shah alam at 22 years old.i was a goofy chatterbox then, and i still am now.nothing really change actually and its a good thing.eh, something has changed.i managed to gain 10kg i guess across the span of 5 years.haha.

i'm going to miss this place,well not really the place cause shah alam is a 15-20 minutes drive from home.
i'm going to miss the people,my housemates especially.the things we did together.and my close friends.

i've been sleeping or rooming with the same girl for 4 years.of course i'm going to miss her damn much, but then again, she's less than an hour drive from home as well.

we will move on with our lives.but we will always treasure the moments we've had.

but we are going to be just fine.

really.