on being a TEACHER

i'm going to be a teacher soon. (for my practicum)
god.i am so nervous.i really am.i never thought that i could be one.teaching other people's kids.
teaching to me is a noble profession (damn all those people who look down on teaching as a career. it is not easy.at all)
but i don't think i have the nobleness.come on look at me.i'm a goofball and dorky and smile and talk waaaaaay too much.whenever i feel hopeless or bored or annoyed or anything, i retreat to my 'escape' world easily and of course i can't do that if i'm teaching in front of some 30+ teenagers.i cant look dazed or confused.

i'm barely 21.okay la i am 21 this year.i think i'm still young to have the sense of responsibility of a teacher. of course i want to be a good teacher.it's too nervewrecking.or maybe i just dont want to be responsible. i am wreckless in general.i need to be more than what i am right now but i just dont know how to do that.

i dont want to grow up.i want to be young and wreckless forever.


oh i cant wait to finish this year.