la tahzan.

God is great,you know.

yesterday, i spent my minutes worrying.and then there's a phone call from his bestfriend saying that he has arrived and he can't get through me.

i puked my choki choki and sour tape.

and then i changed a few settings on the phone and ta-da, a whole lot of numbers blinking on my screen and i picked it up.he was trying though.

my baby's doing fine.listening to him makes me think that he's not in some country 10 520 km apart, it makes me feel like he's right there in Cheras.

i would like to think it that way.like the Iranian speaker during the Cairex said, if you can't think of positive thoughts, stay away from negative thoughts.

langit dan saya.

our first sunset together

for these past two days, i think i have the same feeling with the sky. hari mendung dan gelap dan hujan sahaja.macam hati ku ini.

it has been more than 12 hours since i last hear from him.16 hours to be precise.

semalam, when i first got online, i went to the Yahoo page.the first news that i saw was that Turkish Airline plane crash at Amsterdam or something.

i went to sleep on 10.30 p.m that night.staying up late will only make me go crazy.

today when i got back from class, i saw his post on the poem that he was telling me about.he posted in on 1200 a.m.he told me earlier that i can only read that poem on midnight.

i'm so sad.

but sad is better than lonely.i'm not lonely because i know he's always here with me.

wajah kesayangan hamba.

i'll always be waiting for you.balik cepat cepat nanti.

gila tahap tak gila.

i've finished most of my assignments.he has only less than 48 hours to be here.
in the pinnacle of information and technology, distance should not mean a thing.you just need to
cope with the time differences, that's all.

that's all.

that's all.

i feel like someone has stab a wooden stake right through my heart.

except i'm not a vampire.i'm a girl whose the love of her life is leaving on a jet plane.sigh.

tears for fears.

current playlist

1. Leaving On A Jet Plane by Chantal Kreviazuk
2. Right Here by Staind
3. Everything's Gonna Be Alright by Sweetbox
4. Little Girl Blue by Janis Joplin
5. Right Here Waiting. by Richard Marx
6. Next Year by Foo Fighters

and i still cry like a wussie.hey,i'm a girl.

i would love to imagine the Armageddon situation, the part when A.J Frost sang song number #1 on my list to Grace.except my boyfriend is not an astronaut, and no he won't be facing any deadly outerspace tragedy (I hope so) and minus the fact that i don't have that pair of Liv Tyler's legs and my daddy ain't Bruce Willis.

three days left and i'm scared.

pergi tapi kembali.

yes i am a fan of one tree hill (earlier seasons,when they were still in high school).and this picture my dear friends,describes the feeling that i have right now.

face it,people always leave.

but some will eventually come back.

and we'll destroy that traffic light.and we will be together till death do us apart.cheesy i know, but that's all i'm hoping for.

i wasn't prepared for these.

what a perfect timing to listen to Eisley.the sweet melody hits me straight to the heart, face, ass, neurons, every where.

i wasn't prepared for this.aaaa aaa aaaaa.

tell me about it.

he's leaving pretty soon and i'm not sure how to cope though i know i CAN and WILL and i WANT to cope,it occurs to me that i have shitloads of stuffs to do, and where to begin, i don't know.it's one after another.but hey i've made a vow earlier.hard stuffs in life won't get me.
growl.even if they do, i won't break down.hey it's life, you can't possibly have EVERYTHING you wished for.

so he's leaving on a jet plane to a country 10 520 kilometres away and i won't be seeing him 'real live' for a year, so i'm in my final semester with fckloads of stuffs to do and to think about,but i believe my friend, there is a grand miracle out of this garbage pile of situation.i'll wait.what ever God has planned for me, as a humble and disdainful servant, i'll accept everything.


(maybe i'm exaggerating because the progress of my works is so far, okay, not excellent or marvelous or back breaking, i seem to be procastinating just fine, ha ha).

ain't complaining.

it's getting hotter and hotter by the minutes.maybe i'm exagerrating, by the hours i presume.

suddenly i remembered all those movies and articles i read on global warming, how the world is 'spiky' and how Californians preserve their forest but deforest other forests (you can replace deforest with other choices of vocab). It's a McGraw hill book on world issues, you should give it a read.i borrowed it from my beloved library.man i love libraries.i love the library more than i love some of my friends (the distant one i guess), the one that i can do without.

I wonder how people can call global worming a political scheme or phony. You're feeling the heat don't you? How can this heat and sweat and irritation be phony? How can gas emissions and melting icebergs and natural disasters be phony? I just don't understand how it can be phony.

Sure they hate to agree with Al Gore because he's a politician and all but he's not the only one. Of course he's not the only one claiming global warming exists. Because he's a politician and the fact that the world is heating up makes global warming unreal?

Fine if you're saying the media is scaring us, but really, can't you see? I mean really really see what's going on around you. Is this really just a cycle of the earth?. Don't you think that all things will get old and deteriorate. Just like your knees and your tendons and everything else in your body.How can things stay mortal.

If it is fake, then why is it not the same like before.Maybe it's fake after all, maybe the earth is going through some phase, some growing pains or maybe the earth is lying, false alarm, the earth that cry 'WOLF!' but the world will end someday you know. You have to believe in Doomsday.and surely God will warn us beforehand, take the 'comfort' little by little, don't you think? God is merciful enough to that, God won't just take things abruptly.

To say that it's entirely fake would be, condescending.

Don't you think?

P/S : anyhow, you can always do your own reading in this topic.i'm not forcing you to agree with me. peace. :)

bahagia melankolia.

i feel happy. and pure. for once, i want it to be simple. i want us to be happy. and we are.

things happen for a reason.every single one of it.it happens for a very specific reason and you will learn, from the joy or the mishap it brings, you will.

it's crazy to feel elated and on top while feeling like you're aching and longing for something, for someone.

all the sentences above don't correlate with each other, i know.

peace.

panas panas.

hari yang amat panas.personally, aku lagi suka hari panas dari hari hujan. sekurang kurang nya kering juga kain baju yang berlambak lambak tu.kalau badan yang panas duduk saja lah depan kipas.tak pun mandi banyak banyak kali.kalau hati panas?

kita pergi makan cendol. alah RM 1.30 saja pun.

kalau panas lagi?

pergi lah karaoke dekat karaoke jamban tu.nyanyi lagu lagu tak semenggah seround dua, sejuk lah tu nanti.

tak sejuk jugak, pergi lah main game k.o.f. token baru seringgit.tapi hari ni panas betul sampai silau dalam arked tu.kalah pulak.selalu ranking hampir number dua.tak tipu punya.aku memang terer.tapi lupa pulak tak lunch lagi.lapar + silau.memang lah kalah.

biasalah hidup,kadang kadang panas, kadang kadang sejuk.asyik panas je nanti kemarau.asyik hujan je banjir pulak.

danke schon!

i've a blast yesterday.it was perfect.i received a fair amount of wishes through texts and emails, met my parents, were surrounded with my close friends and loved one.

i can't wait for my next birthday.if getting older made me this happy, then i'd choose to be older and happier than younger and not knowing how it feels like.

thank you to everyone!

happy birthday sweet love.

enough with the birthday already.but hey it's my birthday.i can do what i want, where i want, how i want and with whoever i want. no,i'm not talking about sex.chastity belt, people.

thank you to those who wished me, and thanks to those who are about to wish.this is the birthday that i wished for when i was blowing my candles.it couldn't been better.

i am thankful for being alive and on top.

happy 22th birthday epifah.

public service announcement.

i'll be turning 22 tomorrow.yes it's the 14 February.

but i woke up with minor sore throat and mild runny nose.oh maybe because it's noon.

what are my expectations yeh?

hmm.i just want to be around the people i loved and those who loved me.that's not too much to ask for kan.

:)

the hunger and the mountains.

i was watching one of my fav shows and i came across this song.well, this very part of the lyric.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger

i'm pretty sure she's not singing about that hunger for foods.but i like that part, remind me of my own hunger.and its not about food either.i'll always keep it. :)

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking

this,i'll tell my self over and over again.

lemau.

i'm so damn sleepy.i hate wednesday morning.

actually,i'm not a morning person.yes i don't have any problems performing my Subuh prayer cough cough. but i despise waking up so early in the morning,especially when you have something to do e.g classes, works, etc etc.i don't know how I survived my practicum months.i have to say,i'm very proud of myself.

being a grown up, you have to wake up early, when you have a job later on.obviously.unless you're working night shifts.i guess i've had enough of staying up late and sleeping in till noon.

sheesh.this is making me unhappy.

maturity is forever and he's extending his iron claws.

hasil pembelajaran hari ini.

i woke up with sore and bruises on my body.but it's okay.i've read through some stuffs for tomorrow's test but to remain focus is, well it's almost impossible.i was reading through the marriage chapter and these really caught my eyes.

The new-couple relationship begins with courtship, the period when individuals test their compatibility with others through dating.

Generally, individuals tend to be most comfortable with others who are at the same or similar developmental level (Stanrock,2000). That is one reason why relationships between dissimilar people rarely last. Environmental, psychological and situational factors can also hinder people's adjustment to marriage (see Figure 1.2)

(of course i wouldn't type Figure 1.2 though the contents are interesting, you can borrow my Gladding after i finish my test tomorrow noon)

mari berangan seround dua dulu and then i'll proceed with my reading!

it's not meant to be

yes i could read,i think i'm a pretty good reader.

but one thing for sure, i'm a pretty bad singer.i love singing.who doesn't.
maybe not my ayah.or my neighbor downstairs, but boy i love to sing.

i can sing out of tune, however you despised it,i can sing it like that.oh, impersonating Jonas Brothers nasally teen voice is my passion e.g When You Look Me in The Eyes.the kids back home will close their ears and run away in terror when i start belting out Kappa Mickey's theme.

if i can sing, i'll be a pretty good singer.but singing and me, we're not meant to be.

but hell yeah, i'll stick with singing off key. ;)

conquistadores

one of my favorites yaw.sick drum!

perkara yang sering dimonolog

sejak kebelakangan, ada beberapa perkataan yang asyik terpacul dengan automatik nya. separuh ada yang didengar orang, separuh lagi cakap sorang- sorang je.


perkataan 1 : foo fighters.

perkataan 2 : foo fighters.

perkataan 3 : foo fighters.

perkataan 4 : birthday aku.

perkataan 5 : united kingdom.

perkataan 6 : rasa emo lah weh.

perkataan 7 : eh mana jauh lah.

dem.

why do jetplanes exist?

it's funny when nothing seems funny.the situation i am in, god i want to laugh out loud and i did.but it's not funny.and the laughter sounds, sounds odd and at times hurtful.at least to my ears.

laughing a hurtful laughter.i must have been out of my mind.i was and still am.


it's funny when you almost always get what you want and what you need until, until they go somewhere.

you can take my needs and willpower to live.fuck the geography you know.my heart is a wonderful place to be in and there, my needs and willpower will stay forever and no one can take it away.

not anymore.

dear god, please don't take it away.with all my sincerity as your humble and low servant, please keep it here in my heart always.

mantra of the year

A change in the weather is known to be extreme
But what's the sense of changing horses in midstream?
I'm going out of my mind, oh, oh,
With a pain that stops and starts
Like a corkscrew to my heart
Ever since we've been apart

-Bob Dylan, 'You're A Big Girl Now', one of my personal favorites.

and hey of course i'm a big girl now,i'm turning 22 yaw.that's 86 in cat years.if i'm a cat,i'll laze around with rheumatoid athritis. lucky i'm a girl.

OH DAVE GROHL.

you should have known my obsession towards Dave Grohl (among many other things).


to be able to watch him sing and perform live, damn i feel like termuntah and pengsan already, just at the thoughts of it.double damn.


you can't stop me.


oh there's only one person who can stop me but i know he won't do it.

to those who are about to judge.

we are all judgmental being to some extent, yet our judgmental-ness differs from each other due to the degree or perhaps the situation.it would be a lie to say that i am not a judgmental person.well, let say if there is this guy who goes around fucking different women or impregnated them,of course i will say he's one fucking bastard.won't you? will there be any good reason why he did all those things?maybe you didn't say it out loud but yes you'll judge.judging silently won't do any harm.
judging blindly and blatantly, now that my friend,is a different story.

well,try to not give a damn.yes so he goes around fucking women,what has it got to do with you? unless he's fucking your sister or your best friends.then you should give a damn.

it will be a waste of energy and precious brain activity to judge on strangers don't you think.but if you want to, i won't judge you, it's your brain and energy after all. :)

valentine's is overrated.

really, there will be soppy romantic/romance dramas or movies in the television.song dedications on national radio.you know one can never listen to a lot of love songs cause they'll rot your brain. and oh you should see how the gift stores are all decorated with red hearts and everything red.the price of roses increases by what, 90 percent? restaurant will be full with people.people will race to find their valentine.and they'll wear couple t-shirts, with the bees and the flower and such.

you shouldn't celebrate valentine's,you know that?

celebrate my birthday instead. *cough*. i'm not lying.i'm a valentine's baby yaw.that's why i don't do valentine's.why bother when you're getting older. ;)

p/s : i love love songs.brain-rot or not.and couple t-shirt is cute.really.