life in shah alam, post study.

i am in shah alam.will be in shah alam, until November i guess.passing by the pak guard, driving, it feels odd.and overwhelming.looking at the students, the juniors laughing as they jog to class, i feel...

this violent whirlwind of envy and jealousy are churning down the pit of my stomach.never have i been so envious of someone in my whole life before.

it's not the same.despite the driving and the staff sticker and the getting-paid-for-it, it's not the same.

i really miss being a student.the liberty.the leisure. (yes even after going through the experience of the tiring AE and bundles of assignments) the liberty is pretty much a liberty, studying is not that hard after all, if you screw up, you just screw yourself up.whereas, in the working world, i dare not say liberty but merely the lack of it.and if you screw up, you're taking a lot of people down the cliff with you.

this is life, i often tell myself.i could have it the other way around but since it's not happening, i should deal it with the way it is.

i'll give my best and hopefully, by the end of the year, i have something to look back and reflect upon, maybe it is not as bad as it seems now.

maybe.as in right now,i'll stick to the nawaitu which is to teach, regardless where i am and who they are.